Got My Fingers Burnt
by JustKeepOnTheGrass
Summary: Who would have thought a surprise birthday visit could involve so much drama? Certainly not Edmund. An Edmund and Susan story. No slash, just pure drama. R


**I haven't uploaded a fanfic in AGES. It seems so crazy. Basically, my excuse for my lack of stories and update is, basically, life: chaotic, complicated, life. I'm sorry I can't give you more than that. I don't know if anyone's going to be reading my stories or not but I really want to share what I have and would love to know your opinions. So, again, please R&R. I'm going to update more fanfics, mostly in the Harry Potter realm, but more Narnia stories will come soon. I am sure of that. **

**As for this story, it has been in my mind for ****two years****, if you can believe that. It all started from the song 'So Beautiful' by Pete Murray. I wrote two stories about relationships between the Pevensies ('What Dreams May Come' – Lucy and Edmund, and 'She Has No Time' – Susan and Peter). Somehow, this song has always been ****Susan and Edmund****. And Edmund being my favourite character, this story's been kept very close to my heart. So, finally, after a long, long time of finding myself again (if THAT makes any sense), here it is....**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**Got My Fingers Burnt**

**By Lorianna Kim**

'_God, my fingers burn_

_Now when I think of touching your hair_

_You have changed so much that I don't know_

_If I can call you and tell you I care_

_And I would love to bring you down_

_Plant your feet back on the ground' _

_- So Beautiful, Pete Murray_

Edmund Pevensie was not an ordinary boy of nineteen years old. If you were the sort of person who has read the right books, you would know that there were so much more to Edmund Pevensie than that of a nineteen year-old youth. If you were such a reader I have mentioned, you would know that Edmund, along with his brother and sisters, had had glorious adventures in a land called Narnia where they ruled for many long years as great Kings and Queens. Therefore, the traits of King Edmund of Narnia could be glimpsed even in a dreary, old train compartment racing through the English countryside.

Outwardly, Edmund looked as other nineteen year-old boys ought to look, even though he was a little taller than some. He had a large overcoat, which was now on the bench next to him, a university suit (even though his shirt was un tucked and we must forgive him for that as we all know that a train ride is not at all comfortable), a tie and a suitcase which was set close to him on the wooden floor. In appearance, Edmund Pevensie could be considered relatively handsome. His dark eyes were staring at the swift countryside with his black raven hair slightly rumpled and falling occasionally to block his vision. At a glance, he would look like any ordinary English university student. But if you had enough time to spend observing him, you would see that there was a little _more _to him than that, such in the way he conversed with the old lady sitting opposite of him, or in the way he helped a young lady hoist her bag up onto the baggage rack, or in the slight intelligent, knowing look which sometimes escaped into his eyes.

In this precise moment, Edmund Pevensie did not care much whether he gave an aura of an ordinary English youth or that of King Edmund of Narnia. Edmund was thinking, rather hard in fact, on what he might be doing next. Edmund had finished his university term and was now on a train heading back home to Finchley, London. But there was a matter which was terribly irking him. A small voice in the back of his mind was urging him to do something which his logical mind was screaming against. His right hand absentmindedly flew to his overcoat pocket, pondering its content. The pocket held a letter to Edmund written by his youngest sister, Lucy, and in this particular letter, one of Lucy's sentences had inspired this strange urge in the first place.

_Dearest Edmund, _(Lucy had written)

_Peter and I are thrilled to hear that you are coming home at last. Peter has been home for a week since his university let him out fairly earlier than yours and I would never known how to cope if he has not been here. I'm so glad to receive your last letter and to know that all is well with you. I do miss you so, Edmund. Home seems a boring and dreary place without you and I can't wait until we can see you again._

_I received a letter from the Professor. He and Aunt Polly want to get us all together, 'us' meaning all the friends of Narnia, counting Eustace and his friend, Jill Pole. Even though it feels hard at times, knowing we can never go back, I can't help looking forward to getting together and reminiscing about Narnia. We haven't asked Susan yet. We assume she wouldn't want to come. Has she written you at all? We've heard from Mother that she's not coming home this summer but she would be staying with a friend instead. I think she's still in Cambridge right now. It's all so sad because I miss her so. Peter keeps saying there really is nothing we can do about it and I genuinely want to believe that Peter's right. It's going to be her birthday in a couple of days. I already mailed her a present. Don't forget to write her and wish her a happy birthday, if you do not feel like sending a present. _

_I really, really miss you, Edmund. I've written that so many times! I hope you will find your way home very soon. _

_Love, _

_Your sister, Lucy_

Edmund had double-checked the date many times since he first received the letter from Lucy and discovered that today was actually Susan's birthday. And here he was, in a train which would be passing Cambridge on his way to London. Inside his coat pocket, other than Lucy's letter, was a small black box wrapped in coloured-paper. He could not resist buying his older sister a present. They had been doing so for years and it had become a habit he could not stop. There lay the dilemma, for Edmund dearly wanted to arrive home as quickly as he could but another part of him, the annoying younger brother part - he would call it, was strangely urging him to stop at Cambridge.

He could not help smiling at the absurdity of this urge. There was no point in stopping for a surprise visit at all. As for the present, he could just mail it to her like Lucy did.

Outside, the sun was disappearing from the horizon. Edmund could see a few pale stars twinkling in the orange sky. Out of habit, he searched for the familiar sight of the Ship and the Leopard, but with a jolt, he realized, like he had so many times before, that Narnia had already been lost to him.

If you had asked Edmund later, he would not be able to explain how it quite happened. All he knew was that when the conductor called, '_Cambridge!'_, he had grabbed his suitcase, his coat, and walked almost automatically out of the train and onto the platform. He heard the train gave a loud whistle, almost a screeching one, a couple of minutes later and then it had left him, racing on its way to London.

Edmund stared at its leaving rather forlornly for a few seconds, but then, a small mischievous smile graced his features. Edmund was going to surprise his sister on her birthday and the younger brother within him could not wait to see her shocked expression.

He opened his suitcase, rummaged for a while, and produced a little notebook in which he wrote down necessary addresses (he had conveniently crossed out that of his Uncle Harold and Aunt Alberta's after his last disastrous visit which involved his aunt cruelly blaming him for her son's 'now common ways'). He found Susan's, squeezed just below Peter's, and set out immediately.

It was already dark when Edmund got to the flat Susan shared with a friend. The streets of Cambridge had begun to empty and Edmund was the only person standing in that particular lane. He rang the doorbell with relief, rested his suitcase on the ground, and waited, his back resting against the side of the house.

A few minutes passed and Edmund, who had started to get very annoyed, considered ringing again, but then, the door flew open to reveal a young woman who was not his sister. She was quite pretty, a fact which Edmund quickly acknowledged, but too..._artificial _for his taste (Peter would have sniggered at this comment but, alas, what would he know?). The woman held the door open only slightly, her heavily made up eyes arched up in surprise and one of her hands was running through her messy auburn coloured hair. Edmund tried not to look at her overly exposed legs, for she was wearing _very_ short shorts.

'Hallo, love' she drawled, in a rather raspy voice, offering him a wide smile (her lips were very red), 'Are you lost?'

'No, not at all', Edmund collected himself. 'I'm looking for a...uh...Susan Pevensie?'

'Susie?' asked the girl, and then her eyes twinkled rather knowingly. 'You're one of her _admirers, _aren't you?'

Edmund fought the urge to laugh but he was unable to stop himself from smiling nonetheless, 'No, I'm her brother'

'Oooh...' the girl immediately opened the door a little wider. 'Wait, lemme guess. Which one are you? Peter or Edmund?'

'Edmund' said he.

'I'm Gladys. I've never met you before' her brow furrowed, but she patted his arm, 'Susan's out. To a party which I can't go. I have the flu, you see. What a shame.'

'Ah..I can see that' smiled Edmund, eyeing his companion's make up. Girls never ceased to amaze him.

'Why are you here?' asked Gladys. 'Susan never told me you were coming'

'Oh, I've come to surprise her. It's her birthday, you know'

'How sweet. I didn't even know it is Su's birthday' she grinned, and Edmund thought she looked remotely like the Cheshire Cat, 'Come inside and keep me company, love. We can have a drink, talk, wait till she comes back...'

'I'm sorry, but I would rather go find her' said Edmund politely. He added in a smile, 'I don't like to sit around doing nothing, you see'

Gladys seemed a little bit disappointed but she told him that, sure, it was completely fine with her. 'Wait here and I'll write you the address for the party, love' she gave him another twinkle and disappeared inside. Not long, she was back and pushed a little scrap of paper into Edmund's hand.

'Here you are, darling. The place is not far'

Edmund thanked her very kindly and she looked like she was going to give him a peck on the cheek, but instead she blew him a kiss.

'Goodluck!' she called after him, before closing the door. Edmund chuckled to himself. As flashy and interesting as Gladys had been, Edmund could not help comparing her to the female company he had the pleasure of receiving in Narnia. He scoffed at the thought.

Edmund looked down at the address Gladys had given him and started out again into the Cambridge night. Gladys was right when she said the place was not far.

It was a house which shared a close resemblance to his aunt and uncle's (Edmund was a person who was very particular to details). There were lights from the windows and music. Though the curtains were drawn, he could see shadows of people moving about inside. Edmund avoided the front door. Instead, he made his way to the backyard. He would try the backdoor. He had never been a fan of grand entrances.

Edmund imagined Susan's expression when she would see him and his present. He smiled slightly at his own thoughts, replaying the scene in which Susan would exclaim in happiness, kiss his cheeks and rumpled his hair like she used to do. Edmund was still smiling at this particular picture when he arrived at the backyard of the house.

The area was dimly lit by the lights from inside. He could see the shadow of a door, but, to his irritation, it was blocked by a young girl and her male companion who were locked together in a tight embrace. They were kissing rather intimately, the girl resting her hands on his face and he had his hand in her long dark brown hair. The sound of the girl's high heels against the wooden floorboard made a strange hollowing noise in the stillness. They did not see Edmund, and he stood there, staring transfixed at both of them. Edmund had started to realize there was something familiar in the way the girl moved and in the way she tossed her hair. Then, the couple moved their angle only a little and the light from the window settled on the girl's face.

Before he could stop himself or before he could even think properly, Edmund had already called out, 'Susan!'

The young girl tensed immediately and she reeled her body around to face Edmund. He felt something caught in his throat. There was his sister, standing in the dimly lit backyard, with her makeup pristinely done as always. Her short black dress hugged her figure and her dark brown hair streamed messily about her shoulders. Her lips parted in amazement but her eyes seemed to be frightfully alarmed.

'_Edmund?'_

The person who was addressed thus quickly regained his senses (Edmund had always been a sort of expert at this). 'Su...Hello.' he grinned rather cheekily. She just stared at him.

Edmund noticed that his sister's male companion was shifting uncomfortably behind her.

'What are you doing here, Edmund?' she frowned, attempting a sort of smile and a rather false cheerful voice, 'Aren't you on your way back home? That's what Mother told me in her last letter'

'Yeah, I was but then I decided to stop by and see you', he squared his shoulders and looked up at her, his eyes twinkling as if to make it known to her that he was presenting the ultimate, long-kept secret, 'Happy Birthday, Su. Surprise!'

Susan stood rather still and then swayed rather alarmingly, but then righted herself almost immediately, 'What?—Edmund, how?'

'Who's this, Susie?' the man behind her asked gruffly. He had finally pushed himself forwards. Edmund had the feeling he had been waiting to do so for quite some time. In the light from the window, Edmund studied the older man. He was tall and built like a rugby player with very broad shoulders. His hair was rather long and he had a grouchy look about him. Edmund resisted the urge to knock him down or say something spiteful when the man wrapped a protective arm around Susan's waist. For a split second, Edmund had already explored the possibility that he could successfully knock the man out cold.

Susan's false cheery voice brought him back to earth, 'Oh, Colin. This is my younger brother, Edmund' she beamed and then offered the same nervous smile to Edmund as well, 'And Edmund, this is my friend, Colin'

'Nice to meet you' said Edmund tightly.

Colin nodded. Edmund figured his sister could feel the tension immediately for she rested a hand on Colin's arm, 'Maybe it's best if you go back inside. My brother can take me home'

'Are you sure?' whispered Colin, although loud enough for Edmund to hear.

'I'm sorry' Susan whispered back, and Edmund tried to ignore slight anger her words had caused while Colin strutted back inside, closing the door behind him.

'Goodness, Edmund' exclaimed Susan, smiling broadly (rather too broadly). She clicked her way across the floorboard to him, 'I can't believe that you are actually...._here! _In Cambridge!'

'Well, happy birthday, Su' His logical mind was screaming at him particular loudly at this stage. _You idiot, you shouldn't have came!_

To shut out its voice, Edmund quickly took the small black box out of his coat pocket. 'Here's your present. First I was going to mail it, but I wanted to see you'

'Oh, Edmund!' cried Susan. She ran her fingers on the little box and reached up to kiss him rather awkwardly on the cheek, 'Thank you ever so much! What is it?'

'You can open it later' smiled Edmund, rubbing the place Susan had just kissed with the back of his hand. He had the feeling her kiss did leave lipstick marks.

Susan put the box in her own coat pocket and beamed at her younger brother. For a moment, a single glorious moment, Edmund thought everything had gone back to the way it was supposed to be. He offered his arm to Susan.

She laughed a little before placing her hand in the crook of his arm.

'Is there a place open this late where I can find something to eat? I'm starving' said Edmund

'Well, there is this one place....'

A few minutes later, the two siblings were sitting opposite each other in a little coffee shop. The place was small and there were only a few customers, mostly teenagers. Edmund found himself sipping a cup of tea and eating away at a pie he ordered.

'You must be very hungry' noted Susan, 'But, Edmund, do eat slower'

He smiled mischievously up at her instead. She rolled his eyes, but then, after looking down at the table cloth and taking a small sip of her own tea, she asked: 'How long are you staying?'

'A train leaves tomorrow for London at seven. I'll be on it. Why?' Edmund glanced up and caught an expression on his sister's face. Her brow furrowed and her lips were in a straight line, her eyes shifting. Edmund felt a tuck at his navel for he could read this particular expression of Susan's every time she wore it. She could not wait to be rid of him. But in a split second, the expression vanished and Susan was shrugging her shoulders at him once more.

'Just asking.' She took another sip of tea to avoid Edmund's gaze and asked, 'How are you, Edmund?'

'Oh, fine' the answer came out a little too quickly, 'I'm happy to be going home though. College was a bore.'

'Edmund, don't say that!' exclaimed his sister rather shockingly.

'Well, it's true!' defended Edmund, 'Peter agrees, although he would not admit it for the world. He's far too _noble _for that' he scoffed and Susan rolled her eyes again, a behaviour which had became her trademark.

'By the way,' continued Edmund carefully. He knew he was treading on thin ice, 'We miss you. You know, me and Peter and Lucy...' (she shifted uncomfortably in her seat) '...I heard you were going to stay with a friend this summer, but is there any way you can come be with us for a bit?'

He swallowed. She was not looking at him but toying with the edge of the table cloth. Here goes nothing...

'Do you remember the Professor? Professor Kirke? Well, he and his friend, Aunt Polly, want to get us all together for a small gathering. You know, us four, Eustace and that friend of his...'

'Is this about what I think it is?' Susan cut across him and Edmund stopped, expecting his sister to be staring at him angrily from across the table. But, to his astonishment, he found she was smiling rather amusingly.

'Oh, Edmund, when are all of you going to stop living those stupid games we played together? It's been years'

Edmund did not say anything, for, quite frankly, he did not know what to say.

'The professor is an old _dear_,' continued Susan, still smiling and looking at her brother as if she felt sorry for him, 'but I do not understand why he encourages all of you so. And Eustace! All of you know better than to drag him, and heaven help us!, his friend into this as well! You've always been the sensible one and ---'

Here, Edmund found his voice and I regret to say he did not use it well. 'Stop!' he shouted, and rather loudly too because several heads in the coffee shop turned towards the two siblings. Susan blushed a deep shade of crimson.

'_Edmund'_ she whispered through clenched teeth '_Keep your voice down—'_

'Su, listen to me!' his voice was forceful and it no longer held the forced pretence he adopted since he met his sister this evening. Susan could see that he was getting angry. Edmund rarely got angry, and when he did, his anger was even more frightful than Peter's.

'Can you hear yourself right now? Do you know what you are saying? Narnia wasn't a game---' he stopped for a second because she had flinched when he said the name. When she did not respond, he pushed on.

'When are you going to stop pretending that none of it had ever happened? _You _were there and you were _Queen._ Why the _hell_ are you acting like it meant nothing when it means **everything**?'

Susan's face flushed and her eyes hardened, 'I have a life here, Ed, a proper life. One without magic and lions and broken promises...'

'Yeah, right, a life' scoffed Edmund disdainfully, his voice getting louder. He could feel his anger, bottled up for so long, rising to the surface. 'Nothing matters more in your _life _now other than silk stockings, lipsticks, and boys. So this is what your life has been all about? Getting stupid chaps like _dear Colin_ to kiss you and run his hands all over you? Lucy cries because she misses you so much, but you don't even have it in your heart to write her a single letter or come home during the hols. And here I am, finding you partying and pretending that what the four of us had was a _fucking lie' _

Edmund had said all this very vehemently and very loudly as well. Everyone in the shop was stealing glances at the pair of them, trying to act as if they did not hear the words uttered by the dark haired youth. Edmund did not even acknowledge all the attention. His eyes were fixed on Susan, who seemed to have shrunk in her seat. Her cheeks were red as if he had slapped her across the face.

Edmund continued to glare at his sister, expecting her to say something regarding his outburst. Instead, she did not for a long time. Finally, she averted her eyes and Edmund thought she saw tears rolling silently down her cheeks.

When she raised herself to meet his stare again, she simply said, a little brokenly: 'Edmund, you are embarrassing me'

Edmund felt his whole body go numb. It was the first time one of his sisters had ever said they were ashamed of him. It was always them, them who said that he was a man who they were proud to call their brother.

The apology he knew he should give stuck in his throat. Instead, he reached inside his pocket and threw a couple of coins and pound notes on the table. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the other customers turning away.

'Come on, I'll take you home' said Edmund, without looking at Susan. He gathered up his possessions and put on his coat. He knew she was doing the same as well. Amidst curious glances, the pair of them left the coffee shop.

Outside, the sky was dark without any stars. The lampposts seemed to emit a haunting glow, as if to mock Edmund for his decision, which now he knew was a stupid one. They stood there, brother and sister, side by side in the chilling wind on the deserted street. The light from the shop made slanting angles on the ground beneath their feet and Edmund observed it as a distraction, dreading the words he knew he would have to say. He could choose not to, but he knew he would never be at peace until he did.

'I'm sorry' said Edmund.

Susan shifted next to him, her high heels echoed against the bricked street, 'Does Lucy really cry?'. Her voice came out hollowed, almost strained.

'Yes, when she thinks Peter and I aren't looking'

Susan shook her head and her hair streamed even messier around her shoulders. She had dyed it brown, noted Edmund, it used to be raven black---like his. 'You don't understand, Ed. None of you do. It was all....just a game'

Edmund's anger was near rising point again. 'Who's playing a game now, Su?' he quickly retorted, 'We are not playing a game. It's you. You're playing a game pretending all of it has never existed---Narnia, Aslan---'

'Don't!' she cut in harshly, and he stopped, hearing the edge in her voice. 'Don't say the name!'

Edmund had an absurd urge to laugh. It was all so wrong, so twisted, and he---who was Edmund the Just---had absolutely no idea what to do next. _Oh, Aslan._

'You know, Peter---' he began, as his thoughts always strayed to his older brother every time he himself did not have any answers, 'When it comes to you, Su, Peter has such....._grace._ I'm not like that'

'I don't _think_ like you, Edmund' said Susan immediately, 'I don't feel like Peter, nor believe like Lucy.'

'It has nothing to do with that'

'It has _everything _to do with that' snapped Susan, and for a second, her voice shook and she seemed about to cry.

Edmund felt wretched. For he, at that moment, did not understand at all. Susan herself did not say anything else. So Edmund did the most logical thing that came into his mind at that moment: he saw his older sister home.

The journey was a silent one. Not long after, Edmund found himself back before the door Gladys had opened for him a few hours ago. Now, thinking back, it seemed like a lifetime.

'Thank you again, Edmund, for coming' said Susan finally, looking intently into his face.

'No one remembers your birthday except us, right?' asked Edmund after a short pause.

She cracked a small smile and nodded, looking down.

'Oh, Su, come here' Edmund did not care that it was a gesture so similar to Peter's, he pulled his sister close and held her. 'It's going to be alright'

He thought she was crying, but he couldn't be sure. When they pulled apart, her eyes were a little red.

'Susan, I really want you to reconsider coming with us' said Edmund gently, but Susan flinched almost immediately. She turned from him in frustration.

'Edmund, why do you _keep _doing that?' she cried, almost hysterically, 'Why do you keep reminding me? Reminding yourself? It's over, Edmund. It's over for me, and it's over for you. I have a life to live, even though my life may seem ridiculous to you, but right now, at least I _feel _like I have one. And sometimes, it _feels _great'

'I don't believe that'

'I don't expect you to' she snapped, locking eyes with him. Then Susan burst into tears. 'It was a game, Ed.'

'No, it wasn't' he tried to keep his voice steady, not giving in to his rising temper.

'_Yes, it was!_ And doing this---gathering, whatever you call it----it's like an attempt to _fix _me, Ed' she was crying freely now, tears rolling down cheeks and her body was shaking violently from the sobs, 'I'm not some jigsaw puzzle. You can't just move a few pieces around and everything's going to go back to the way it was. It's not like that. People can't be fixed that easily'

With that, Susan sank down on the stairs leading up to the door. She buried her face in her arms and wept, her whole body shaking. Edmund, who had been exposed to a crying woman almost twice today, did the only sensible thing he could have done at the time. He sat down next to his sister on the stairs and let her cry.

Finally, after what seemed a long time, Susan's sobs started to lessen and she finally dried her own tears. Edmund noticed that her makeup had been ruined in the outburst, but he was wise not to point it out. He watched her carefully dab her eyes with her handkerchief. Then, when she had quietened down, he said, 'Su, I really am sorry. I know you feel like I don't understand you,' here, she sniggered a little, but Edmund continued, 'but I really want to help you.'

'You can't help me, Edmund' said Susan, shaking her head and avoiding his gaze, 'You want to help me remember. For me, there is nothing to remember.'

They lapsed into silence again. Edmund let her words cut, almost as if he was savouring in the pain from the wound she had just made.

'I do not think it's a good idea for you to be here' said Susan quietly, almost guiltily, 'You coming here is a very, very bad decision, Edmund. I was going along fine, and then you came, springing it upon me again. I can't bear it, Ed. Maybe it's better if you just ---'

'Leave?' Edmund's voice sound strange to his own ears, like it no longer belonged to him.

Susan lifted her tear-stained face to look at him, 'Yes'

She expected another torrent of anger. She readied herself for another outburst, another fight, but then something much worse happened. Edmund's shoulders sagged and he turned away. He had given up. Somehow, seeing her brother defeated in such a way hurt her even more than seeing him angry at her.

'I'll go' said Edmund, strained and numb. He had had enough. He was tired and disappointed and it was all wrong. The promised glorious birthday surprise had become a dreadful irony, twisted and jeering in his face. They were just two siblings: cold, hurt, and sick at the sight of each other. Right then and there, something passed between them and whatever understanding they seemed to have had was now broken.

Edmund stood up, running his hand through his hair in a gesture of a man whose energy had all been spent. His dark eyes were almost empty and unreadable. He shook his head slightly, 'Goodbye, Su'.

Then, before taking his first step away from her, he seemed to tether on the spot for a moment, as if struggling with another strange urge. Finally, he looked back at his older sister, sitting in tears on the stairs, and said rather kindly with a hint of sadness in his voice, 'Happy birthday, Susan'

Then, Edmund turned and started down the street. His strides were long and purposeful. It was like a journey from nowhere to nowhere, and he did not look back.

That was the moment Susan was supposed to say or do something significant. But most sensible people have a knack of abandoning the most sensible things in times which _real _sensible acts are required. Susan was such a person. Therefore, she dried her tears the best she could and, without looking at the retreating form of her younger brother, took out her house keys, unlock the door and let herself inside.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

'Thank Heavens, Susan, is that you?' a raspy, shrill voice greeted Susan the moment she shut the door, 'I've been waiting forever. My headache has been getting worse and worse!'

'Yes, Gladys, it's me' answered Susan. She could hear her friend groaning from inside the living room. Susan halted by the front door and bent down to take off her high heels, an attempt to hide her red, crying eyes from her friend.

'How was the party, darling?' shouted Gladys, 'You simply have to tell me all about it. How was Colin? He's so sweet, you know. And did Gertie go with Alice's old boyfriend, Malcolm?'

'Oh, yes, they did' said Susan, trying to keep her voice cheery, 'Made a quite an entrance too, but I was over in the corner with Colin so---'

'I've felt so wretched being here all alone' moaned her friend, 'Darling, there's nothing to entertain me here. Except---oh, golly, yes! Your brother showed up!'

Susan's hand froze as she was putting her shoes back on the rack. Gladys, not seeing her friend's face, pushed on rather gaily, 'He's such a looker too! Said he's come to surprise you. How sweet! You know everyone thinks your older brother, Peter, is the handsome one, but I find _this _one---Edmund---so completely _irresistible,_ Su!'

Something within Susan seemed to snap and she said, quite coldly, 'My brother is only nineteen, Gladys'

'So? I was just saying, love...' she giggled rather weakly, 'By the way, did you meet up with him? He seemed so eager to find you'

'Yes, I did' answered Susan quietly. She began taking off her coat and wished nothing more than to go upstairs and have a good cry, but Gladys kept on.

'I think it runs in the family, you know, dear' she was saying, 'The beauty gene, I mean. You are simply gorgeous. Your brothers are the most _dashing_ men I've ever met. Your sister's pretty as well, but she can be a bit odd, you know. Remember that time when---'

Susan did not hear Gladys' recollection after that as her fingers brushed against a bulge in her coat pocket. She took out the object and found it was the black box Edmund had given her. Her present.

She unwrapped the coloured paper and, with shaking hands, opened the box. Her whole body seemed to freeze the moment she saw what was inside. It was so considerate, unlike Edmund, and yet, still reflected him in so many ways. A lump rose in her throat and she felt as if she had fallen down ten flights of stairs. There, curled in the little box, was an old, worn out ribbon. It was cream in colour and stained in places, but the sight of it brought back childhood memories. Susan remembered Father twirling her around in the air, the smell of Mother's bread on Christmas morning, Peter's laugh, Lucy's smiles....She saw herself, so young and small, all dressed up with this ribbon tied at the bottom of her plait. Then, another memory hit her.

'_Sister, what in the Lion's name are you doing?' laughed Edmund. There was the gleam of battle in his eyes, and yet that familiar glint of sadness. The sun had never shone clearer than on that morning and its light reflected off the King's mail shirt and shield. The sword which was hung by his side seemed to gleam in the golden light._

'_Be still, brother' scolded Susan, but she had a twinkle in her eyes. Nearby, Peter was embracing Lucy, his own war charger readied beside him._

_Susan twisted her scarlet silk ribbon and looped it securely through Edmund's belt. 'There you go' she said._

'_I would assume that this is your gift for me, Gentle Queen' smiled Edmund, 'although I cannot imagine for the life of me how it can bode any good in battle' _

'_I gave one to our royal brother as well' said Susan, placing her hands on her younger brother's cheeks, 'This way, we are with you wherever you go, in whatever danger you may face.' _

_Edmund's eyes softened and he grabbed hold of his sister's shoulders, planting a firm kiss on her forehead, 'Never fear, sister. We have the grace of the Lion. We __will __come home to you'_

'_No one can promise that, dearest of brothers' said she, her voice barely steady but she reached up and gave him a kiss right above his beard. Then, with amazing calmness, grabbed both his hands in hers, and smiled, 'Be safe' _

_She would stand there, waving them away to battle not knowing whether or not it would be the last time she'd see them. And when the trumpets blared and banners spread announcing their return, she would run down the steps of Cair Paravel, skirt ruined and hair tangled, to welcome them home_

'---and it's nice and all, but still so _strange' _Gladys' voice pulled Susan back to existence.

She stared at the ribbon, curled so perfectly in the box and felt hot tears pricked her eyes. She quickly bit back the sob. She would not cry, for she did not remember. She shut the box and dropped it back into the coat pocket. She hung it up on a hook and turned her back from it, drawing deep breaths to steady herself.

'---I've missed you so, Susie' Gladys was saying, 'It's been so lonely this evening. You have to come in here and tell me every little detail about the party. Oh, do you mind brining me a cup of tea from the kitchen? This one has gotten cold. Su?'

'Absolutely, Gladys' answered Susan, her voice regaining its usual cheery tone, 'I'll be happy to bring you a cup, then I'll tell you all about that _fabulous _party...'

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sleeping on a wooden bench is a most uncomfortable business, even if you have a suitcase serving as a pillow. Edmund was immediately reminded of this fact when he woke up the next morning. It was also another worrisome trouble of sleeping outdoors. You tend to wake up inconveniently early. In Edmund's case, it was as early as sunrise. The train station was still empty.

The young man groaned, stretching his tired limbs. 'Bother it all,' he muttered to himself, 'What a clever arse, you are, Ed, landing yourself in _this' _

The events of last night came flooding back to him and it was no use going back to sleep. So, as it turned out, Edmund sat there on the bench going through every single detail of last night. He was a very analytical person and thinking took up most of his leisure hours. But Edmund, having the privilege of being a King, did not waste time on idle thoughts. He thought about events in great details, going through every action and every word in his mind to find some particular significant conclusion. But, of course, a satisfying conclusion could not be drawn from last night's events. Therefore, when the station sprung to life and the ticket office opened, Edmund was not in his best mood when he purchased the 7 o'clock to London. If he was rather rude to the inquiring ticker officer, we must forgive him for he was truly sleepy, tired and hungry.

At precisely five minutes to seven, the train came pulling in to the station. Edmund, with his suitcase and overcoat on his arm, boarded the train. He chose a seat next to the window for he liked seeing the countryside pass by. He suddenly realized that his family would have been waiting for him to come home last night. So, he readied himself for a serious lecture from Peter.

Edmund sighed heavily. He should have listened to his logical side and should not have stopped at Cambridge. But still, his eyes spotted something on the platform and almost made him jump. There! He saw a young woman with long dark brown hair who looked vaguely familiar. But when she turned, Edmund could see that she was not Susan.

_Idiot. It's not like she's going to come and see you off._

Edmund smirked slightly.

'All aboard! All aboard!' called the conductor. The train was letting out steam and passengers crammed into the compartments, readying for the train to take off.

Edmund's eyes strayed to the window, watching the conductor blowing his whistle and jumping onto the train. Then, suddenly, there she was! There was no mistaking it this time. Susan was there, her coat wrapped tightly around her, and she was looking around hurriedly through the white steam. Without thinking, Edmund stuck his head out the window and called, 'Susan!'

He could hear the conductor, just vaguely, calling again, 'All aboard! All aboard!'. But Susan had just seen him and she was running to where he was.

Edmund could feel the train jerk and knew, that in a split second, he would be off.

'Edmund', cried Susan. She reached out and grabbed his hands in hers. For a moment, she looked beseechingly into his face, as if begging him to understand something, to know....

Edmund simply nodded, for there was nothing else he could say. He could not find the right words. He looked into her eyes, dark like his, and knew that she knew he loved her still, that she was sorry. Suddenly, a sinking, empty feeling grabbed hold of him and for a moment, he had the strangest of feelings that this would be the last time he would see her.

The train started to gather up speed. It happened quickly, too quickly. One minute she was running to keep up with the train, and then, before it gathered full speed, she pressed her hands strongly in his, and said just for him to hear, 'Be safe'

Then, she let go. Edmund turned back and saw her standing there on the platform. She looked small and lost. He looked at her and she looked back. But then, almost suddenly, the train turned a corner and she was gone. Edmund could see her no more.

**THE END**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000


End file.
